Expect Relocation Stress Following a Career Move

Career change often requires a relocation. You move to take a new job or take advantage of a special offer.

And then reality sets in. Maybe you like your job, but your personal life is another story. Your new city seems hostile and you miss your old friends. You can't find ways to enjoy your new home.

Of course if you are feeling really depressed or anxious, you need to consider medical advice from a licensed professional. However, here are some facts based on published research and my own experience with clients.

First, many people feel unsettled after relocation, even if they really wanted to move and enjoy their jobs. Most people need a minimum of two years before they feel at home in a new community. Three to five years is not uncommon.

Second, you can't turn to old friends back home. They see you as a lucky person who got a wonderful new job and maybe a great place to live. You've escaped!

When you move for retirement or a major lifestyle change, the gap between old and new will be even greater. You may maintain contact with a few special friends but you have to anticipate losing some of your original closeness.

Third, focus on moving into the new instead of hanging on to the old. Create a plan to get to know your new community and begin to make friends.

One of the biggest mistakes a newcomer can mak is to join groups just to meet people. Find activities and groups that will be fun because you genuinely enjoy them. You may have to try half a dozen opportunities to find one that clicks. There's nothing wrong with you: there's just no systematic way to do this.

Fourth, be aware that feeling lonely can create negative situations. When you are lonely, it is easy to seek friendship in all the wrong places with the wrong people.

Your boss, your coworkers and even your new neighbors may become your friends. But for now, they are just new acquaintances.

Therefore, wait till you know the players on your new team. Your neighbor may be your boss's distant cousin. Your child's teacher may be related to your coworker or next door neighbor.

Finally, remember that hiring a coach or therapist, making long distance calls or even taking a few vacations may seem expensive. However, your most costly risk involves losing your job and being forced to start a new career.


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Cathy Goodwin, Ph.D., is a recognized expert on the psychological,
career and personal components of relocation. She won't tell you how to
pack a box but she can help you make the right choice for your move and
take steps to avoid stress, hassle and needless expense. To download her
Report, Making the Big Move, visit http://www.RelocationStrategy.com